I read and hear a lot about carriers saying, "If I'd known I was a carrier before I had kids I wouldn't have had them."  Intellectually I know those statements have nothing to do with me, but deep down I go for a guilt trip every time I read or hear that statement.  I'm a carrier.  I've known I was a carrier since I first understood genetics and that BMD is an X-linked recessive disease.  My father and my uncle have BMD, I have a couple distant cousins with BMD, and my great uncle had BMD.  There was almost no chance that I wasn't a carrier and when I asked my mother she confirmed that I'd had a CK test that proved I was a carrier.  After I got married I went with my husband for genetic councelling and a genetic test confirmation of what I already knew.  My husband and I decided we'd have our own kids the old fashioned way, anyway.  My moral convictions make the options I was given impossible to have my own kids and my religious convictions told me that God has a plan and if that plan included gifting me with a son with BMD then that was fine with me.  And it is fine with me, but those "If I'd known before I wouldn't have had kids" statements still take me on those wonderful guilt trips.  And despite all that I did get pregnant again after my son's diagnosis (I have a girl, unknown carrier status) and still want more kids.

Is there anyone else out there that has made this decision or that would still have kids despite knowing their carrier status now?  I just feel very alone in my corner over here and would love to hear from someone else with similar experiences.

Hi, I've read you post & thought I should reply.. I am  a mom  who have made such a statment. "If only I knew"  I would like to apologize to you and all mothers who had made the decision to have children with the knowledge of carrier status.  My intent was not to make any mother feel guilty.   You made the right decision for your family. The choice to have or not have children is a personal one & please know I do not judge you.    Let me explain why I made such a statement... I would have made the choice not to have children b/c I'm scared... My son was diagnosed 3 years ago before that I knew nothing of BMD or any form of MD.  There is no family history and I know of no others with this disease.  I was scared of the unknown. I still am  scared,  but i'm beginning to realize the things you already know.   You know life can still be good. You have experience with BMD & I have none.  Maybe if I was exposed to the disease like you,  I  too would have a different outlook.  I too believe there's a plan for us all & I feel the plan for me was to have my children.  I wasn't meant to know b/c I would have made the wrong decision.  My children were meant to be & there's a plan for them too.  You are truly bless to have your children.  Please don't feel guilty b/c you made the right decision for your family.       

Thanks for the reply, though no apology is needed.  I know the intention of such statements aren't meant to make others feel guilty or to imply they've made the wrong decision.  I was just wondering if there was anyone else out here who made similiar choices.  I haven't met any yet. :)

Hi, my name is Sherri and I have 2 boys w/ Becker's MD. I found out only 1 year ago that I'm a carrier. My family had no idea about BMD and now we do, do to my son Brandon's diagnoses in Nov 2008. My family is under going gentic test and I hope that it will effect their decisions on having children. Even if I new before my boys, that I was a carrier, I would still have had children.
As for having more children, my husband and I would like to at least have 1 more child. The hardest part is deciding weather or not to have fertility treatments. On one side it would lessen our chance having another child w/ BMD and on the other, leave it up to God and let fate take it's own course. Big choice, not sure what we will do.
Thanks for your story :)
Sherri 

Thank you so much for your responses.  It's nice to have a place where we can be open and honest about the things we're struggling with and to find the support of others going through similar thoughts and feelings.